Relegated to the Couch
by JukedSolid
Summary: She's in a real bad mood, and the couch is just dying to be slept on tonight. Note: someone must be giving their herd of bunnies haircuts because there's fluff all over in here.


I do not own Final Fantasy VII© or any of the character or places contained. All content is officially owned by Square Enix Co., LTD.

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Contrary to how his brooding exterior may appear to the casual observer, or even the attentive observer for that matter, Cloud Strife was a happy man. Of course, he wasn't showering every patron of the Seventh Heaven with tidings of joy, but he was pretty sure that if he ever attempted such a stunt his fellow AVALANCE members would tie him to a bar stool and demand the location of the real Cloud Strife. Regardless, for the first time in his life, Cloud looked forward to what the future held for him. His financial situation was solid after selling off all but his rarest, most useful materia for a sizable amount, and Strife Delivery Service was something he did more for entertainment than necessity these days. What he prided most about his life, though, was his family and close knit group of friends. Fiercely protective wouldn't even begin to be an understatement to describe how much they meant to him. Especially since…

Cloud nervously twirled the platinum wedding band on his left ring finger.

'What in Gaia did I do wrong today?'

"Cloud!" The blonde swordsman hastily looked up from the bar as he heard his wife's voice hailing him from the garage. He could almost taste the irritability in her tone. Tifa was _not_ in a good mood today: which was rare because Tifa Lockhart was the absolute sweetest woman he knew. Lockhart-_Strife_ he mentally amended, albeit a bit smugly. The problem was he had absolutely _no clue_ what he had done wrong!

Tifa came out to the bar looking, well pissed really, but Cloud still couldn't imagine a woman being more beautiful.

She placed her hands on her hips and narrowed her ruby eyes at him in a level glare.

"Cloud, Fenrir is in pieces all over the garage. If Denzel hurts himself because you were too careless then I won't let you touch me for a week."

'Ouch! What's with the low blow…can she read minds?' was what Cloud silently pondered, but he knew better than to provoke her when she was mad, especially since he was still trying to figure out what he must have done wrong in the first place.

"Sure," he quietly responded hoping to quell her anger by being compliant. Unfortunately his cooperation seemed to earn him the opposite effect as Tifa's scowl deepened, and she began violently wiping down the bar. Cloud couldn't think of a more appropriate description for it as Tifa seemed to be forcing the bar into submission so that it shone twice as much as usual. He silently pondered if it was possible to be passive aggressive towards an inanimate object as he quickly and quietly made his way to the garage, where Fenrir wasn't nearly as out of shape as Tifa made it seem.

The previous night a couple of out-of-towners had stopped by the bar. They obviously didn't know the reputations of the strongest couple in Edge residing in the homey bar near the center of town. Cloud gave a small smile as he remembered performing a flying arm bar on one would be groper so fast that Tifa didn't even notice where the perv's hand was going until he was screaming one part in surprise and two parts in pain. It was rather high pitched for a 185 pound man. After hastily paying his tab and profusely apologizing to the two bar residents, the man quickly left. That certainly left his table of friends roaring with laughter after recovering from their initial surprise. Tifa gave him some halfhearted admonishing later about how she could have handled it herself afterward, but Cloud doubted that could be the reason she was so angry today. At least, she had never been angry about him defending her before. She knew that he only had the highest praise for her Zangan style, and he had even incorporated a few of her moves into his own fighting repertoire. Case in point: the flying arm bar.

Cloud realized it was getting late in the evening as he finished wiping the oil of his hands and placing the last of his tools in order in the tool bench at the side of the garage. Ordered chaos, as Tifa liked to put it. With a heavy sigh, Cloud steeled himself for one final confrontation with Tifa. He had thought all day about what he could have possibly done wrong, but _Ifrit_! None of usual reasons that she normally had for being miffed at him applied here! He hadn't accidentally sorted his oily stained work T-shirts with the whites, he hadn't forgotten to take his boots off before walking across the freshly mopped wood paneling, and he hadn't sneaked into the ice cream stash before dinner either despite Denzel and Marlene begging. Come to think of it, most of his common wrong doings were rather juvenile.

Hmmm…

Checking to see that the kids were asleep first, Cloud made his way back downstairs to find Tifa putting the last of the dishes away. It sure looked like she was performing an act of dominance over them like she did with the countertop though. Cloud took a deep breath.

"Teef?"

"What?" She responded in a low, seemingly calm, tone, but Cloud could feel the barely hidden animosity vibrating off of her.

"Teef, please. Tell me." He softly pleaded.

A noise of disdain past her lips as she whirled away from the counter and attempted to walk past him to the stairs, only to have said attempt foiled by all 5'7" of Cloud Strife and a soul piercing mako blue stare.

"Tifa, don't push me away. Let me help."

She turned her head and scoffed.

"Ha! I seem to recall saying the same thing to you some time ago but that didn't stop you from leaving did it?"

Cloud nearly gasped as his mind recoiled from that particular tongue lashing that must have felt thousand times more potent than a sting from a Midgar Zolom.

'_Ouuuch! _Is that what she's pissed about?! Shiva's icicles! That was three years ago now!' Tifa knew him better than anyone and she knew there was no way he would just bail again. Cloud forced himself to keep his face as passive as possible as he tried to get back to the matter at hand.

"We both know that's not what this is really about," he continued to prod but it seemed Tifa's fighter mentality would not budge in the least.

"Oh really? I fail to see how an emotionless, stubborn chocobo like you could know anything of the sort!"

'_Double OUUUUCH! _ Okay that personal attack was completely uncalled for!' Cloud could see that he wasn't getting anywhere being diplomatic, and decided that he needed to go all in if he wanted to force her bluff.

"Is that how you really feel?" he quietly inquired.

"Y-yes." Her slight stutter took some of the venom out of her image, but she remained resolute by crossing her arms and haughtily turning her gaze away from his. Cloud thought she looked completely adorable and was devastated that he had to resort to his final card, but she was forcing his hand.

"That's hurtful. Fine. You're sleeping on the couch tonight."

It would have been appropriate to surmise that Tifa's brain completely short circuited, and she needed to take a short pause for the soft reset to restore her thought processes to working order.

"W-W-WHAT!? You can't! …But I…how…WHAT?!" She babbled and ranted trying to wrap her mind around the idea that her full house was just royal flushed. In that amount of time she witnessed Cloud coming back down the stairs with what appeared to be her pajamas, pillow, and a couple of blankets.

Her jaw dropped and a look of utter devastation passed across her delicate features. Cloud peered at her from the corner of his eye, but managed to limit eye contact as much possible in order to go through with the rest of his plan. If his resolve broke now, then he would gain nothing.

He walked to the living room and unceremoniously dumped his package of nighttime necessities on the couch, solidifying Tifa's fears. Cloud thought that she looked like she might be about to cry, and while it was completely adorable he never wanted to make her cry ever again.

"If you apologize, then I'll forgive you," was his last statement as he disappeared up the stairs and into their shared bedroom.

The truth was that Cloud was very worried that Tifa was angry with him for…well not necessarily something he did, but maybe something he might have forgotten or failed to pick up on sooner. He knew Tifa was amazing, patient, and kind as all get out, so whatever the cause of this particular mood must be something really eating at her. However, he was not going to cave and walk away anymore, especially if she was taking to hurting him just for the sake of being angry. A long time ago, those things she said might have completely split the seams of his emotional wounds, but he had come a long way since then. _She _had helped him come a long way since then. He wanted to be there for her now.

Cloud finished brushing his teeth and slipped in between the sheets of their queen sized bed. His thoughts were still on Tifa and how he hoped she would just _talk_ to him when his thoughts were interrupted by a distinctive thumping from downstairs. Just faint enough that he could hear clearly with his mako enhanced senses. Despite that he could tell that Tifa was currently pounding the stuffing out the punching bag they had hanging up in the garage. Cloud had been with Tifa long enough to know that she tended to attack the punching bag when she was frustrated with something, or if she was sad, or if she just had too much energy to burn; she never practices her drills when she is angry. When she is truly angry, she attempts to bottle it up and gives her fake smile and keeps herself busy until it all just flows out if something isn't done to diffuse the rage. Cloud winces a little when he remembers her "spilling of rage" just a few moments ago.

The sound of fists leaving their indentation on cloth has stopped now, and the bar is quiet. Cloud lay awake for what felt like an eternity entertaining thoughts that perhaps Tifa was still angry and wouldn't come back up to him tonight at all when he began to hear the soft pattering of bare feet on the staircase. Soon enough, the door creaked open all the way, and Tifa came in holding her pillow. She slowly approached the bed where Cloud's back was facing the entryway.

"Cloud?"

He gave her a soft grunting sound to let her know that he was listening and that he was awake.

"Cloud, I, I'm sorry," she replied sounding significantly abashed, "I didn't mean any of those things. Will you forgive me?"

Turning over in bed so that he was facing her, Cloud held out his hand.

"Come here."

Tifa quickly tossed her pillow onto the bed and climbed beneath the sheets with her husband, but she left a space between them for fear that Cloud was still upset with her. He quickly soothed that fear, however, as he completely enveloped her in his arms and covered her lips with his own in a very thorough investigation and successfully pulling a surprised squeak from his dark haired love. As soon as he determined she was sufficiently dazzled, he pulled away and nuzzled her just behind her ear. He was slowly soothing away her fears with his intimate touches and slow caresses, slowly making her more open only for him.

"I love you." He whispered to her. She looked up at him with damp eyes as she whispered the same and sought his lips with her own. Once they pulled away he felt he could finally ask her what must have been on her mind all day.

"Tell me." Due to his not so subtle affectionate pampering, she only barely tensed upon his quiet command.

"It's…I'm just…it's complicated," she finished lamely.

"How complicated?" he persisted.

"You're not going to give up until I tell you, huh?"

"Nope."

"*sigh* Alright. I'm just sick of people making these assumptions about me all the time."

Cloud cocked an eyebrow in a symbol telling her to elaborate.

"I mean like the other night with that guy who you threw out of the bar. I know it's happening less and less since the first time but that doesn't mean that I'm not bothered by it." She tilted her head down and softly stated, "I don't want people to think I'm…easy or something just because I have…just because I'm…"

"Curvaceously succulent?" Cloud finished with a very out of character statement in his usual deadpan earning him a startled squeal from the blushing martial artist in his arms.

"Cloud!"

He quickly silenced her with another kiss.

"You're just for me. I know and you know that all those people are wrong and couldn't even begin to fathom how wonderful you are. That's why I'm allowed to punch them."

Tifa gave a somewhat reluctant snerk at Cloud's attempt to lighten the mood. Cloud himself was immensely relieved to discover that it wasn't _him_ she was really mad at, but just needed a much deserved pick me up from the inevitable stress that comes from daily life. He would rather prevent something like this from happening again though.

"None of the real people in Edge think of you that way. The things they think are 'she's one kickass hot bartender that's not only a loving mother but a devoted wife too. Shiva I wish she wasn't taken. Cloud's so luck-mmmph!'" At this point Tifa knew that Cloud was joking around and decided to kiss his mouth shut. After they pulled away he told her, much more seriously that,

"We could put up a sign that says 'gropers will be castrated' but somehow I don't think you'd be ok with that."

"No, you're right. I know I'm being silly and I can deal with it. This week it just ended up becoming too much to handle I guess. I'm sorry I lashed out at you." Tifa punctuated her last apology with a small pout that immediately had Cloud reaching to kiss her again. Tifa was more than happy to comply but quickly pulled away for a few second to ask,

"Wait, Cloud? Who or what gave you the idea to threaten me with sleeping on the couch?"

Cloud nervously scratched the back of his head and mumbled something before bringing her lips back down to his, and she almost missed what he said but it sounded surprisingly like,

"Shera."

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If you've read this short one shot, then I would like to say thank you very much. Hopefully you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed exploring this idea as I was writing it. If you would please leave a review it would be much appreciated.


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